Stupid Me
by Zozabelle
Summary: All he wanted was to know why he was abandoned, by his best friend, no less. MattxMello... Lots of cursing
1. Stupid Me

**Note From Zoza:** Haii! =D So I was listening to the new Placebo album, and the song, Kings of Medicine, inspired this whole story. It took me a while to get this the way I wanted it to be. I had the whole idea in my mind the whole time, but putting it into written words was much more difficult than I thought it would be. But here it is, I can't help but feel that it's missing a few things, but since it was such a pain in my ass for so long, I've decided to leave it as it is. I'm debating on whether or not to make this a two-shot, though the second part would probably just end up really fluffy, 'cause I'm not used to putting so much angst in things like I did in this part. I iz a fwuffball sometimez... But das otay wif me =)

Haha anyways, I hope it doesn't fail! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note or anything else I mention in this story that has some form of copyright on it.

**SL: **Kings of Medicine by Placebo

...

**Stupid Me**

Matt was trying to ignore the smell of burned flesh emanating from the seat behind him as he raced down the street, in search of a hotel with vacancy. His mind was in a blurred haze of too many thoughts going to and fro within his head, and it was making it very difficult for him to focus on his task, and the smell only made things much worse. He reached for the pack of cigarettes on his dash board and grabbed a smoke out of it. After lighting it, he savored the first drag he took. He hadn't had a cigarette since the plane landed, and it had been absolutely killing him. Though the stress he had placed himself in was immense, he decided it would be better off to focus on his mission, and wait until his... "precious cargo"... was secured before lighting up.

Nicotine soothed his frayed nerves momentarily, and his thoughts all trained on one thing: the half-dead charred heap in the back seat. He glanced in the rearview mirror to check up on the scorched passenger, but cringed away from the horrid sight. He took another drag and slowly exhaled, but the soothing head rush from the first drags was fading swiftly. Soon, the current of thoughts swelled within Matt's mind. He wondered why he did this to himself. Why would he willingly put himself in this position? When he looked back at the barely-alive person in the back seat once again, he thought of the train of events that lead to his current circumstance.

...

_It was a bit too quiet outside. Of course, this wasn't the normal kind of quiet, it was Miami's version of quiet, considering that Miami was never truly silent. Car horns could still be heard honking angrily due to the outrageous traffic, but it wasn't the usual cacophony of blaring beeps. Still, that change wasn't the one that alarmed Matt most. It was the lack of sirens wailing around him. After slumming it in the big city for three years, sirens from ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks were something one would expect to hear every day. Especially in the area Matt lived in. Where he lived, it seemed you couldn't go a full hour without hearing the shriek of a siren, but it was already around noon, and Matt hadn't even heard a gunshot. This quiet unnerved Matt to no end. He had felt this once before... a long time ago. It was like the calm before a storm. Maybe it could've been the drugs he was coming off of that were making him so paranoid, but when Matt answered the phone when it rang and heard the voice on the other end, his mind went from half-dazed to sober in split second._

_"Matt... sorry..." *click*_

_The caller had hung up, and the dial tone was humming in Matt's ears. Not that Matt was even paying attention. With the phone still against the side of his face, Matt stared at the dirty wall across from him, mouth agape, and his thoughts were in a whirlwind._

Why would _he_ dare do even _think_ of calling me? And why did he say he was sorry? Does he think that a simple "sorry" would suffice for what he's done? He left me to rot! He's a fucking good-for-nothing, son of a bitch! Yeah, he sounded like he was hurt, but so fucking what? He deserves all the misery that he gets...

_But, even amongst his torrent of angst, he knew that he had to find him... and ask him the questions that he had bottled up for years. And now, Matt finally had a way to track him down, thanks to the phone call._

_It seems a hurricane was indeed brewing._

_Though his hacking skills were a bit rusty from neglect, it hadn't taken him long to trace the call. Of all the places in the world, it had to be Los Angeles, on the other side of the country. Of course, it was lucky - if you can even call it that - that it was only on the other side of the country, rather than on the other side of the world, where most were fighting the Kira case. It was simple enough to hack his way into some cash for a plane ticket, and so he hopped on the quickest one-way flight to L.A. He had completely sobered up during the flight, but he found out that an airplane is the last place you want to be when coming down off of a drug binge. After hours and hours of nonstop trips to the cramped bathroom to puke up his guts, he was relieved when the plane finally landed. When he arrived at L.A.X., he left the airport into the parking lot to find himself a car fast enough to get him to his destination before..._

Before what? _He's _probably already...

_Matt cleared his mind of that thought before it even came to a conclusion, and tried to stay focused on the task at hand. He came across a fairly new green Mustang, and quickly began the process of hotwiring it. He knew that it wouldn't be long before somebody realized that some guy dressed in a fur-lined vest and a striped shirt was stealing the car, but the minute the car purred to life, he sped off just as security was being notified. The speed was impressive, but as far as Matt was concerned, this Mustang couldn't hold a candle to his precious Trans Am._

That you'll probably never see again...

_Matt sighed. It was true, his apple-red baby back in Florida would probably be long gone if Matt found _him_ alive in L.A. _

You don't really know, he could be dead, he sure sounded close to it.

_Matt's thoughts wandered around, wondering about the possible outcomes of his whole journey. What did he expect to find anyways? Even if he_ _was alive, what did it all mean? Was Matt forgetting all the hell he went through because of _him_? Matt even began wondering why he left to find him in the first place. He became more and more uncertain of his decisions as he got closer to his destination, and he almost forgot to ditch the car and switch into a different, less conspicuous one. He took off in some poor sap's Dodge Neon, and continued driving along his path until he beheld the sight of a smoldering warehouse, right in the area that the call had been made from. Matt knew it had to be the one _he _was in. From the look of the place, it seemed a lost cause to search through the wreckage to find something that was probably already long gone hours ago, but, for some reason, Matt parked the car, and made his way to the rubble. He wondered what happened here. It appeared as if there had been an explosion of some sort._

I didn't make it in time... he's gone...

_Matt squeezed his eyes shut, not allowing any bit of emotion to surface. This was going to take a LOT of drugs to forget. Hell, the amount would probably kill him, but that would be alright. At least he wouldn't have to remember this anymore. He could just fade away into darkness, where he would never be reminded of..._

_"What the fuck?" Something had knocked a pile of burning rubble around, and the noise jolted Matt. He wrote it off as just the wood succumbing to the flames, until he watched as the pile seemed to move around, as if somebody was underneath it. Matt, curious of how somebody could have survived this disaster, ran over to the pile and lifted it, careful not to burn himself. More shocking than that somebody lived through this explosion, was the survivor himself. Though barely recognizable, from the blonde locks of hair, Matt knew it was _him. _The survivor slightly opened the eye that wasn't surrounded by charred skin, and he let out a pained breath as he spoke in a hoarse tone. _

_"...Matt... You didn't abandon me..."_

_Matt shook his head and looked at his old best friend, "Yeah... Well... After everything... I should just leave you here to d- Mello?"_

_The dying blonde's eye rolled to the back of his head, and Matt rushed to pick him up. His mind was in a haze. All he could think about was getting the blonde somewhere safe. somewhere where he could heal and get better. That is, if he even lived through the night..._

_"Stupid Mello..."_

...

It was hard for Matt to believe that this all had started with that phone call a matter of hours ago. Street lamps lit his pathway in the night as sped in his "borrowed" car. Like a shining godsend, a nearly empty Motel with a neon sign reading "Vacancy" came into view, and Matt rolled into the parking lot. Though scared to leave Mello alone, he hurried to the front desk of the motel to get a room. After paying, he rushed back to the car to retrieve Mello from the back seat. It was a struggle to open the door to the room with Mello in his arms, but he managed, and he quickly began the process of examining Mello's wounds. The blonde was lucky, his clothes hadn't melted onto him as bad as Matt had feared, but the left side of his face was not looking good at all. He needed real medical equipment, or else he wasn't going to be able to keep Mello alive until the next morning. If he could just do that, he might actually have a chance at saving him.

An idea hit Matt, one that he almost casted aside, until he realized that he didn't have any other options unless he wanted Mello to die. Matt sighed in defeat as he hit one of the speed dial numbers on his cell. He knew it was probably a bad idea, considering the person he was calling might have had a part in what happened to Mello, but it was a risk he needed to take.

Matt quickly recognized Near's monotonous voice when he answered, "Matt, I am surprised to be hearing from you. Might I ask what you need?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Why are you assuming that I _need_ something from you?"

"An assumption that I am presuming is accurate. Is it not? Or have you _really_ just called to chit-chat?"

Matt quickly remembered why he loathed the pale little bastard and all his smug demeanor. Nevertheless, he stated his business quickly, "Do you remember a certain favor of my choosing that you owe me?"

"Yes. You need me to fulfill it? What is it that you need?"

Matt sighed. "I need some severe burn treatment equipment, for a... cat... that I saved from a burning house."

"Oh? I didn't take you for a pet person, Matt. Or a hero."

Matt looked at the sad sight that was Mello, and laughed into the phone, "Yeah, well it got burned pretty badly, I couldn't just leave it there. Anyways, can you help me out?"

"Yes. It will be brought to your hotel room in less approximately 57 minutes." Matt scoffed. Of course, the little bugger traced his call to this very hotel room, so now he knew Matt was in Los Angeles. Matt now had no doubt that Near knew who this burned "cat" was.

"Okay, thanks. We're good now." Matt was just about to hang up until near said one more thing.

"Oh, Matt? If Mello gets better, would you tell him I have something he may want."

"Uh, sure Near. If you tell me the truth. Did you have something to do with... this?"

"No, he got himself into this one on his own, as usual."

"Alright, thanks. Bye, Near."

Matt snapped his phone shut as he glanced at Mello's limp form once again. Pissed off at Near's little comment, he muttered, "'_If _Mello gets better'... Fucking fluffy prick." He sat in an armchair beside the bed and waited for the equipment to arrive. Though oddly irritated by the white-haired teen's dead-on punctuality, Matt was relieved when the equipment was brought to his room in exactly 57 minutes.

Then began the process of mending his blonde former best-friend, if he was even fixable. It wasn't an easy process; Matt had never recieved any medical training, so the whole ordeal was completely alien to the redhead. He knew Mello would probably punch him in the face if he was conscious when Matt undressed him, but Matt did his best not to let his eyes linger too long on the bare flesh showing as he stripped Mello down to his boxers. After carefully removing the burnt clothing and tossing them to the side, he quickly assessed the damage done. Luckily, none of his ribs broke, and his lower torso and legs seemed nearly untouched by the flames, but third degree burns spanned along the left side of Mello's chest, over his left shoulder, and Matt guessed from there that they probably were on his back too. The most devastating burn of all, though, was the burn on the left side of his face that made a charred-flesh patch around his eye. The blonde was going to be livid if he survived this.

_There's that "if" again..._

Matt tried to clear his mind once again as he continued the process. Trying to find the exact spot in Mello's arm to stick the I.V. was complicated, and Matt hoped like hell the the place he finally placed it wasn't too horribly off the mark. After pumping some pain-killers into the blonde, he carefully sterilized the burns, then picked up a large tub of what he guessed was antibiotics, until he read the label on the side. It was that silver nitrate that doctors used to treat 3rd degree burns. Matt covered his hand with a latex glove, scooped up a small amount of the silver nitrate**, **and slowly and gently began covering Mello's burns with it. He tried to not let it get to him, for Mello's sake, but just looking at the melted skin made Matt sick to his stomach, and actually touching it was just unbearable. He couldn't help himself when placed his ungloved hand on the creamy-pale skin of the blonde's chest on the unburned right side.

It looked like porcelain, and it was so soft. The horrid contrast between the untouched flesh and the burnt flesh was sickening, and he hoped like hell that it would heal right. It wasn't as though Matt was shallow, he knew that the burns would scar, forever marring Mello's once flawless skin, but when he looked at them, he worried about how much pain Mello had been in, and if he felt any pain right now even with his senses dulled. He knew that even when Mello healed, anytime he would see those scars, he would just think about all of the pain Mello must have endured.

_Why should I care about that? After all the pain he put _me _through, what does it matter? I'll probably never sees those scars if he gets better... He'll probably just leave again once he does._

Matt struggled with his thoughts as he wrapped the gauze around Mello's now treated burns. He once again tried to understand why he was even helping him. Mello was a traitor, but he used to be his friend. He couldn't just leave Matt again, after all he had done for him.

_Yeah, that's what I thought back then too..._

He continued with the war in his mind, as he finished bandaging the left side of Mello's face. Once he was finally finished, he sat back down in his chair, palm in his face, bracing himself for the memories that flooded his mind...

...

_The chilly England autumn air whooshed around two children sitting on the concrete stairs of the entrance to the large orphanage the pair called home. Well, the red-head, Matt, called it home. The blonde seated next to him, Mello, considered it merely the place he resided in until he became L's successor, or until he was old enough to leave._

_Matt chattered his teeth and hugged his arms around his fur-lined vest even tighter._

_"You know, you don't have to come out here with me. I know you hate it. Practice your hacking skills or whatever," the blonde said to the shivering redhead._

_"B-but... then I would be alone in the room. I don't like how empty it feels when there isn't anyone else in it. It's boring."_

_"You could go play games in the commons."_

_"Yeah... but I don't wanna right now."_

_The blonde raised his eyebrows at Matt's last statement, "_Matt_ doesn't want to play video games? Are you feeling okay, ginger-head?"_

_Matt playfully shoved at Mello, earning himself a slightly more forceful shove back. Leave it to Mello to get violent, but, Matt knew he meant no true harm. Not to him. Matt was probably the only person in Wammy's House that Mello wouldn't like to mortally injure in some way._

_"It's just, I'd rather hang out here with you than alone or in a common full of noisy jerkwads," Matt mumbled into the collar of his vest, hiding his face from the biting wind._

_"Well, we won't have to deal with it for much longer. I'm going to beat Near, and become L's successor. No more loud brats, or cold weather. We can go where ever we want, and there'll be lots of adventures. We'll never get bored..." Mello daydreamed out loud, speaking of all the fun that was to be had once he won his little "battle" with Near._

_"When you say 'we', you mean you and me, right? I get to come with you on your adventures, and get to do cool things with you, right?"_

_Mello looked at Matt dumbfounded, "Are you serious? Of course you're coming with! Who else could remember to keep my room stocked full of my favorite brand of chocolate?"_

_Mello succumbed to a small fit of laughter, and Matt joined in after a few seconds. Once the laughing died, they sat for a moment, both grinning from ear to ear._

_"I could never leave you here, Matt. Never in a billion years. I'd go insane without you."_

...

Matt smashed his fist down on the coffee table, but soon regretted it as his hands began throbbing painfully.

_Liar... filthy liar..._

Then, like a jagged knife, a memory that Matt had tried his best to forget pierced him...

...

_It had been a few years since that day when Matt and Mello sat on the steps, talking about the future._

_Matt awoke in the morning to an empty room. It wasn't unusual for Mello to be out of the room in the morning. He studied whenever he got a chance, and he often ventured off to the library at the crack of dawn when he needed to study particularly hard on an upcoming research project or exam. Matt rolled out of his bed and started in with the usual morning routine of showering, getting dressed, brushing teeth, and then he headed to the library to find Mello. As he walked through the hallways and corridoors of Wammy's, he noted the utter lack of noise throughout the orphanage. It was way too quiet for a large house filled with children, and it made Matt extremely nervous. He picked up his speed a bit, wanting to get to the library faster. Maybe Mello knew what was going on and could tell him. But when he got to the library, Mello was nowhere to be seen._

_Finally, Matt spotted a girl sitting in a chair next to a bookshelf who he recognized as Ree, a girl a little more than a year younger than him. He approached her casually, and asked her if she knew if there was something going on in the house._

_"I don't know. Roger didn't say anything, and the teachers aren't saying much either. Everybody says it's gotta something big though."_

_"Good big or bad big?"_

_Ree shrugged her shoulders, "Just big is all I know, no one's told us what though."_

_"Oh. Well, have you seen Mello anywhere""_

_Ree shook her head, "Nope. He's not in your guys' room?"_

_"Uh, no."_

_"Oh, well everybody else is in their rooms, I don't know where he could be."_

_"'Kay, well, thanks." Matt mumbled as he turned around and walked to the front doors of the house. He opened them, but he did not see Mello sitting on the steps. He spent around a half an hour checking every possible place he thought Mello could've been, but he wasn't anywhere to be found, not in the bathrooms, the kitchen, or the gym. He was more than puzzled by Mello's sudden disappearance, and admittedly a little worried. He decided to take the elevator up to Roger's office to see if maybe he knew here Mello was. _

_When he reached Roger's office and knocked on the door, there was a slight pause before he was told to come in. Upon opening the door, Matt's gaze was met by dark eyes peering from beneath white hair. "Uhm, hello Roger. I came here because I can't find Mello. Do you know where he is?" Matt's eyes remained on Near as he asked Roger his question._

_"Mello left... my office. About twenty minutes ago. Didn't you see him on your way here?"_

_"Uhm, no. I took the elevator. Thanks Roger. I'll see you later."_

_Matt quickly left Roger's office, then bolted down the stairs in hopes of catching up with Mello. He made it back to their room to find the door wide open. He walked inside the room to ask Mello what was going on, and why he and Near were called to Roger's office, but he gasped at the sight in the room. _

_Mello was not in there, and neither were his belongings, the important ones at least. His desk and dresser drawers were open and mostly vacant, except for a few articles of clothing. He ran out of the room toward the lobby. He was in utter disbelief. _

Mello.. took all of his things... and is leaving... without me?

_He refused to believe it, but when he got to the lobby and found it deserted, he began to fall apart. He fell onto his knees and tried to choke back sobs._

_Mello's words... his lies... rang in Matt's ears._

"...I would go insane without you."

...

But it was Matt who went insane. He, too, left Wammy's house, two months after Mello left, to try to find him, and ask him why he did it. Why he left, and why he lied. No one ever explained to him what set Mello off, and Matt became tired of the secrets and lies, but most of all, the empty room.

He picked up small time hacking jobs around the country, and it was enough to keep himself fed for a while, until he managed to get himself a flight to Miami. He lived in the more slummy areas, doing odd jobs, and hacking bank accounts rent and food money. He hardly ever left his computer, usually only to go get himself coffee or a pack of cigarettes. He was always looking, constantly searching for his companion. Much to his ultimate dismay, Matt could not find a single trace of Mello. Eventually, he even started searching the Kira killings, trying to see if maybe Mello was among one of the many murdered by Kira. Every day he checked, and he never found Mello amongst them.

Soon, resentment filled Matt. He began wishing that he would find Mello's face among those killed by Kira. He just wanted it to be over, if only he could forget Mello, and all the pain he caused. Then, someone introduced him to something that could make his thoughts blurry, and his memory duller. Drugs and alcohol became a crutch that Matt could rely on to make him not think about _anything._

It wasn't long until he quit searching for Mello, and just sank into a drug-induced state of bliss. He quit hacking and started selling blow, acid, heroin, anything that he came across and could make a profit off of. He knew that it was dangerous, and that eventually he was going to be killed, either by an overdose or an angry rival dealer with an itchy trigger-finger, maybe even Kira would catch up to him, and he was content with that. The danger was almost enthralling, but it was far from the kind of adventure he was promised years ago...

Then the phone rang, which lead to where he was now; tending to the being that fucked his entire life up.

Matt actually managed to fall asleep while he watched over Mello, but when he realized that six hours had passed while he was asleep, he mentally slapped himself. Now was _not_ the time for jet-lag. If something had happened to Mello while he was passed out, he would have been devastated. Matt listened to the labored breathing of the wounded blonde, and he couldn't help but sob. Mello was probably going to die tonight. Matt wasn't a doctor, and Mello's wounds were in need of professional attention.

No. That couldn't happen. He had already come so far, giving up was not on the agenda. Matt got off of his chair and knelt by the bed Mello lied on. He grabbed the blonde's hand, and spoke angrily, "You bastard, you are _not _going to get away from this. I need answers from you. I deserve a fucking explanation! Don't... Don't..." Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he choked out his words, "If you die.. if you leave, then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'd have no more point in life, because the majority of it was devoted to looking for you. If you die... after I finally got this close to finding the truth... I'd probably lose my mind. If you get better, you may leave again without telling me why, and then you would be gone without a trace once more, then I'll just end up back where I was, right before you first called."

He managed to keep his composure, and he stood up to look down at Mello's sleeping frame. His blonde hair was tossed about in all directions, and the burnt ends gave it quite the wild look. Mello would probably be very disgruntled upon seeing his new frayed hairdo.

Matt listened to Mello's breathing for a second, and was relieved when it sounded much more evened out than before.

He needed to go out for a cigarette, and to get rid of the car he borrowed, so he drove to the nearest street with a high gang population, and parked the car there. He made sure to carry his gun with him, but thankfully he was left alone as he walked away from that piece of shit car that was probably going to be copmletely stripped down by the time he turned his back on it. Matt then went to the nearest grocery store to get food and smokes. He took a cab home, and he rushed in the doors quickly, worried that he was gone for too long and that something might've happened to Mello.

Luckily, Mello was fine. Seemingly even better than before. His breathing was steady, and he didn't look like he was in pain anymore. Matt changed his bandages, then returned to his chair beside the bed. It seemed as if Mello would pull through. Matt grinned widely and laughed at his dramatic preformance earlier. It seems he had been freaking out over nothing. Still, he couldn't state the worry that Mello would just leave as soon as he got better, without saying a word to Matt once again.

Matt felt relieved enough to doze off for a bit, but awoke, startled by the sounds of someone groaning. When he opened his eyes, hid heart thumped wildly as the body before him stirred. Mello's eyes were clenched as he moaned out curses, and Matt guessed that the meds probably wore off and Mello had been awoken by the pain. Matt sprang up to retrieve some more pain killers, as Mello groaned out hoarsely,_ "_Fuuuccckk!"

After he gave them to Mello, the blonde panted loudly for a few minutes, and then his breathing finally stabilized. Matt had to catch himself from gasping when Mello's eyes opened and scanned the room, and then finally landed on the shocked redhead. Matt just sat, speechless, as the blonde's eyes took in his face. It was around 5 minutes until any words were uttered, and they came from said blonde's mouth.

"Matt? Why are you here?"

Matt couldn't manage to form words. Finally, he spoke to Mello for the first time in years, "Well I... I uhmm... couldn't take you to a doctor, obviously. So I bandaged you up myself."

Mello stared expressionless at the redhead for a moment, then he squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of pain coursed through his body. Matt leapt up to aid the suffering blonde, but completely halted when he heard the next phrase that Mello had uttered through clenched teeth.

"You fucking dumbass. You should have... just left me there."

Matt was completely taken off gaurd. What in the _hell _did Mello mean by that? Awash with confusion riddled anger, Matt nearly ran out of the hotel room, leaving Mello alone and in pain. After he slammed the door shut behind him, he leaned against the outside wall and shrank down until he was seated on the concrete sidewalk with his knees pressed against his chest. He reached into his pocket to retrieve a cigarette and his lighter. He lit the cigarette, and as he exhaled, his thoughts ran rampant in circles once again.

_He's not grateful, nor is he glad to see me. He would rather be dead than have me be the one who saved him! I knew this was going to happen! Why _am _I even here? He probably has never once thought about me the entire time we've been apart. Fuck, he made it quite clear the day that he left that he was done with me. Even after I've mended him and made sure he was safe, he still is the same prick he always was. How could I be so stupid to believe that he would actually have had a change of heart? Mello doesn't change, he never has, and probably never will. I'm done being his lovesick puppy that follows him around picking up his pieces. He can rot for all I..._

Matt was startled by the opening of the door beside him.

"Matt! Where the fuck did you go?" Mello leaned against the doorframe, too weak to hold himself upright.

"Mello! Get back in the bed! You're nowhere near healthy enough to be walking around, you fucking idiot!"

"Then get back in the fucking room, dipshit!" Mello hissed as he bumped his bandaged shoulder against the wood paneling of the doorframe.

Though Matt was still seething on the inside, he complied with Mello and helped the blonde back into the room and onto the bed. The redhead seated himself on his chair once again and sat with his teeth clenched behind his lips.

Mello furrowed his brows at Matt, "Well?"

"'Well' what?" Matt was getting more infuriated every second.

"Why the hell did you run off all pissy?"

"You're really asking me why?" Matt half shouted at the blue-eyed young man before him.

Mello waited a moment before he shook his head in confirmation.

"I haven't seen you in over four years, and one of the first things you say to me is that I should have left you to die! What the fuck does that mean?"

"You should have left me! I've fucked _everything _up, Matt! I've lost it all... My power, my influence. Everything I've accomplished until now has failed. Near has won..." Mello leaned his head back against the headboard with his eyes closed. He exhaled deeply, then continued softly, "I never thought that you, of all people, would try to save me. I thought you would have just spat on my corpse and walked away."

Matt looked down towards his feet, then sighed. His anger was subsiding quite quickly, as it often did due to his normally laid-back demeanor, but he was still questioning whether he should confront the blonde right then and there. He glanced back at the blonde, who was now gazing at the ceiling. He finally decided after a silent minute that it was now or never.

"I couldn't let you die, or else I... I would never know why you left... without saying a word," Matt tried to contain his emotions, but failed as he poured out everything he had always wanted to say to Mello, who was now turning his head to face him with his blue eyes wide with shock, "You were always going on about how we would take the world by storm, how you and I would be the greatest team to ever walk the earth! But those were all lies, weren't they? It was all just a big facade! You speak now of how you've lost everything, but the day you left, you took it all away from me. I had no friends, nor could I say that I had ever had a friend to begin with. A friend wouldn't have left me to rot in that hellhole of an orphanage. Why couldn't you have taken me with you, like you always had promised?"

Mello sat, mouth agape, while Matt waited for an explanation. Just as Matt's patience began to waver, Mello finally answered him.

"That day... things became... too complicated. I knew the moment when I was told L was dead that the path I needed to follow was going to be risky. I had no choice but to leave you behind. Kira managed to kill L, so what was to stop him from getting to me? I was constantly going to be under Kira's radar, and if wasn't careful, I could be instantly eliminated by him. If I had brought you with me, the same could happen to you," Mello paused and his eyes scanned Matt's blank face, trying to search for any hint of emotion. He whispered, but loudly enough for Matt to catch, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died because of me."

Though Mello's eyes were begging Matt to understand, Mello's answer was not enough for him.

"And you thought that I would be able to live without you? Didn't you even once think about what you leaving would do to _me?_" Matt shouted while the blonde cringed from his harsh tone.

"I..." Mello's voice cracked as he spoke, "I hoped that you would just forget about me; loathe me enough to the point where you wouldn't care anymore. You would live your own life. One that wasn't constantly filled with the threat of death lingering over your head."

"Oh, I tried to forget you," Matt laughed somewhat cynically, "I tried every drug, but none of them had enough power to make you fade away from my mind. I did live my own life, but death was always watching me, waiting to strike me down. I imagine I was pretty close to my own demise, until you called."

Matt's fists clenched as his eyes became glazed with fury. This was too much for him. He was getting his answers, but his was still sickened on the inside. It was so confusing to him, but in a split second, the confusion vanished when he finally realized what his whole quest to find Mello was really about.

He just wanted to be by Mello's side again. To laugh with him like he once did. To once again be able to call him friend, and to never be apart from him again. And the sickening feeling wasn't leaving him, because he knew Mello wasn't going to stay. He was going to continue on his path, abandoning Matt in the dust just as he had before.

_Well, maybe then I'll finally let death catch up to me. Then I won't have memories or feelings anymore. I'll just feel nothing, be nothing._

Matt hardly noticed the expression on Mello's face. If he didn't know any better, it he would say it was almost a look of worry. But then, Mello spoke, and his tone mirrored his expression.

"Drugs? You were doing _drugs_? Matt, what happened?"

Matt softly chuckled. Mello almost sounded like he sincerely cared about what went on after he left.

"Some call it 'self medicating'. I was so sick of searching for you constantly, then I was shown the wonderful world of blurry, psychedelic bliss. You tracked me down to the point where you found my number, you must've figured out that I was a dealer."

Mello held his face in his hands as he shook his head in disbelief. He removed his hands and faced Matt. It took him a moment to collect himself before he replied.

"Tracking down your number was easy, I have... contacts in Miami that said they had heard of you, but I thought you gained your notoriety from hacking. I had no idea that you were dabbling in fucking _drugs_! What in the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!"

Matt gritted his teeth together as his temper finally reached its limit.

"Oh? And whatever you were up to was any fucking different? I was always checking the list of those killed by Kira to see if you were among them. So much that I began hoping I'd see you there! That way I could just quit looking! Knowing you were dead would have been way better than the constant _wondering._"

Matt struggled to contain his tears, though one escaped the edge of his bottom lid and slid down his right cheek. Mello saw the single tear fall from his eye, and looked down from Matt's face. At that moment, Mello knew that it was all his fault. The sadness glazing the redhead's dark blue eyes was all because of him. Mello eliminated all traces of his pride, for he didn't deserve to be proud in this moment. Voice tinged with the weight of regret, for the first time in his life, he tried his best to make amends with Matt.

"I should never have left you. I'm so sorry Matt... You should hate me. You should want me dead. I can't believe you even came and helped me. I'm not worthy of the life you've saved... After all I've done to you," Mello's eyes were filled with sorrow as he envisioned all the chaos he caused, "I really did fuck up everything, didn't I?"

Mello's somber voice hit Matt like a bullet. The blonde was _never_ one to apologize, not even if he was just trying to get out of a bad situation. Matt finally grasped that Mello was being one hundred percent sincere. His lingering animosity towards Mello was fading by the second, and he finally regained his composure. He got up from his chair to seat himself next to Mello on the bed. Shocked blue eyes gazed at him as he grasped Mello's hand.

"You know," Matt spoke softly, "if you had asked, I would have gladly followed you anywhere, even if it was to my own death."

Mello sighed. He half smiled as he peered out from under his scorched bangs to gaze upon the stripe-clad redhead.

"It... isn't too late to ask now, is it?"

Matt nearly gasped. It was the one question Matt had longed to hear after all those years of wandering on his own.

...

**Zo: **Fanks for reading! =D I hoped you liked it... I'm putting the lyrics to Kings of Medicine here 'cause it's just so poetic... Touches the soul, you know?

**Kings of Medicine - Placebo**

They're picking up pieces of me

While they're picking up pieces of you

In a bag, you will be before the day is over

Were you looking for somewhere to be?

Or looking for someone to do?

_Stupid me _to believe that I could trust in _stupid you_

And on the back of my hand

Were directions I could understand

Now that old buzzard, Johnny Walker

Has gone and ruined all our plans

Our best made plans

Don't leave me here to pass through time

Without a map or road sign

Don't leave me here

My guiding light

Cause I... I...

Wouldn't know where to begin

I ask the Kings of Medicine

They're picking up pieces of me

While they're picking up pieces of you

Lying on ice, you will be before the day is over

So case and point baby, that you never thought it through

_Stupid me_ to believe I could depend _stupid you_

And on the tip of my tongue

Were words that always came out wrong

'Cause they were drowned in Southern comfort

And left to dry out in the sun

_The noonday sun_

Don't leave me here to pass through time

Without a map or roadsign

Don't leave me here

_My guiding light_

Cause I... I...

Wouldn't know where to begin

_I ask the Kings of Medicine_

_But it seems they've lost their powers_

_Now all I'm left with is the hours_

Don't leave me here to pass through time

Without a map or road sign

Don't leave me here

_My guiding light_

Cause I... I...

Wouldn't know where to begin

I ask the Kings of Medicine

But it seems they've lost their powers

Now all I'm left with is the hours

Don't leave me here...

Don't leave me here...

Oh no...

I wouldn't know where to begin...


	2. Special K

**Zoza sez: **Bonjour! I hope you all are having a wondrous day! I know I am! =) So yeah, my darling inspired my drive to make this a two-shot! So lucky yew! Or... unlucky yew... Idk you'll have to be the judge of that. Anyways thank you for the reviews for the last chapter! They may be few, but they're more than I could have ever hoped for in all my noobieness, so they mean more than you can imagine =)

**Warningggg!:** This _will_ have steaminess, so if you have virgin eyes, do NOT continue! Oh, and there is "drug use" in this... But my viewpoint mirrors Matt's attitude on the subject in the story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note, or Fallout 3... Or PS3... But my brother does possess both, and his trash-talking inspired Matt's haha.

His room is below mine, so while I was writing, I heard him screaming all sorts of profane jeers... Made me giggle heehee. I had to edit them some, 'cause my bro's potty mouth is quite colorful.

**During-the-Story Ear Secks: ** Video Kid by The Birthday Massacre; Face to Face by Daft Punk; Special K by Placebo

...

"Haha! Suck it _bitch!_" Matt playfully chided as his thumbs moved with expertise along his shiny new Playstation 3 controller, "Oh, you want some of this? Stupid fuckin' yaogai, you are _no _match for this shit!"

He was going on his eleventh hour of playing Fallout 3, and he hadn't stopped since he put the game into the console, pausing only every now and then to light a cigarette. The night before, Mello had suprised Matt with the gift-wrapped Playstation 3. Mello said it was for all the birthdays that he had missed, and he couldn't keep himself from tightly wrapping his arms around the blonde when the gift was unveiled. It was a little more than an awkward moment afterwards, but Mello managed to keep his composure when he mumbled out a "You're welcome." Though he probably soon regretted giving the gift, because Matt neglected sleep in favour of staying up all night buzzing out on energy drinks and playing Fallout 3.

"Yeah, you dumb motherfucker! What do you think of _that_? Oh yeah, _nothing _cause you're dead, asshole!" his character was picking up the dead, pixelated corpse and swinging it around like a ragdoll, and Matt began speaking in a demented falsetto tone, "_Ooooh look at meeee! I'm just a dead fuckhead! Woot! I'm gunna bash my head into this rock. Whack Whack Whack!_"

He erupted into a fit of laughter as he continued treating the corpse like a marionette. He was enjoying his little game so much that he almost ignored the loud sound of glass breaking that resonated from the bathroom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to guess that the sound was from a mirror breaking, and Matt had an inkling as to why exactly said mirror broke. For the first time in over eleven hours, Matt saved his game and shut it off. He made his way over to the bathroom door of their small apartment, and through it he could hear Mello mumbling curses.

"You alright in there?" Matt knocked before he entered, and he shook his head at the sight he walked in on. Mello was sloppily wrapping gauze around his hand over the sink that had specks of fresh blood splattered around it. The mirror hadn't been in good shape previously, for Mello had smashed it a few weeks earlier, but now it was all in pieces around the sink and floor, "Well, if you didn't get it before, you sure as fuck finished it off now."

Mello scoffed as he looked angrily up at Matt from under his bangs. The expression on his face made it quite clear to Matt that he was not amused with his little remark.

"C'mon, Mello. You can't go breaking mirrors every time you get a little self-conscious. Oh god, you're doing that all wrong, let me see your hand."

Matt carefully grasped Mello's messily dressed hand and replaced the bandages more securely.

Mello pulled his mouth into a pissed-off smirk and mumbled, "Fine, _Dr. _Matt. Do I get a lollipop and sticker afterwards?"

The blonde hissed as Matt pulled the bandage a little too tight over his wound due to Mello's sassy mouth.

Matt finished wrapping Mello's hand, and then began picking up the shards of mirror that were scattered along the bathroom sink and floor. Mello sighed and bent down to grab Matt's hands. The redhead looked up, surprised by the sudden contact, as Mello pulled him back up to standing position.

"I'll get that, Matt. I'm sorry. It's just... I'm so _gross _looking now." Mello gritted his teeth as he covered the left side of his face with his hand. Matt instantly reached up to softly pull away the hand Mello had just raised to his face. Beneath it was the scar from the explosion Mello had endured. Matt couldn't resist lightly trail his fingers over it, but Mello flinched away just as he touched the healing skin.

Matt frowned at the blonde's skittish behavior, "Oh calm down, Mels. I know it doesn't hurt anymore."

Mello rolled his eyes as he mumbled, "Yeah well, that doesn't mean I'm alright with it now. Just _look _at it! I'm deformed! At least I can hide the other ones. My fucking face is ruined, Matt."

Matt sighed. Leave it to Mello to get all bent out of shape now that he wasn't _pretty _anymore, at least in his own standards, but there really was no point in complaining. He only had himself to blame for the burns, but last time Matt had reminded Mello of that fact, he got himself a nice little shiner on his left eye.

"It's healing really nicely though," Matt said, attempting to bring Mello's mood up, though he knew all too well that that was impossible, "You're lucky, it could be a lot worse."

Mello frowned as he lifted an eyebrow at Matt, his own little way of saying "Oh really?", but then he relaxed his features and gave Matt a half-smile. He knew he needed to quit being such a prick, Matt was only trying to help.

Matt smiled softly back. He hadn't been lying; his burns really _had _healed a lot.

For the past six months, Matt had been ever-so diligently tending to Mello's wounds. Mello was basically bed-ridden for the first month, and it nearly drove the blonde insane. It probably didn't help much that Matt kept remarking on how now he probably would get fat now that he wasn't active and the only thing he wanted to consume was mass quantities of chocolate. Of course, Matt forced him to eat other things that he considered were more appropriate forms of sustenance, but Mello could hardly call the concoctions Matt created "food". Mello couldn't understand whyMatt had _now _decided to "practice" cooking.

About two weeks after the explosion that brought the two together, they decided to find someplace else to reside instead of a shitty motel room. They found a nice enough place to rent for cheap, and when they finally settled in, Matt went into some crazy homemaker mode. It amazed Mello, for Matt was never one to get up off of his ass and actually _do _things. Granted, he still sat around for the majority of the day playing his video games, but for some reason he had gotten really into cooking. For the first few months his food tasted horrid. He played around with seasoning too much, and many meals had been burnt when he had gotten so entranced with his video games after he put something in the oven. Eventually, his culinary abilities improved, though things still got burnt from time to time, but when Mello was finally healed enough to be able to leave the confines of his bedroom, he bought a cooking alarm, which resolved that matter.

Though relieved that he could finally be out and about, it took quite some time for Mello to adjust to the stares from people he encountered. At first, he would return home barely minutes after leaving the apartment, too self-conscious to deal with the ever-constant scrutiny, but he began to feel bad about sending Matt out to get his chocolate, and he was becoming more and more stir-crazy by the day. The months flew past, and Mello's burns healed, leaving rippled, pink scars behind that constantly reminded Mello of how he was a "failure". Matt, of course, would chastise Mello for his self-pity. Mello knew he was right, that he should stop being such a pussy and quit fussing over something that was his own fault, but he was just so used to being physically flawless that it stung him every time he looked into the mirror now and saw his scar. Now thanks to that mirror, his hand was torn up. Wonderful.

Mello guided, rather _pushed, _Matt out of the bathroom so that he could finish cleaning up the mess he had made. He grabbed the broom from the kitchen, swept up the shards of glass, and returned to the living room where his redheaded companion sat in front of the T.V., shouting all sorts of obscene profanities at his game.

"Matt, I'll be back in a bit. I gotta go get my bike looked at," Mello said to his friend before he turned around and walked out the door.

Concentrating too hard to reply, Matt simply mumbled an affirmative "Mmhhm" back. Once again, he was wandering in his own computer-generated world.

...

"You like that, you dumb fucking slut? Suck my dick, bitch! Yeah, chainsaws aren't that fun when they're going up your ass, are they? Hah!"

Had Mello not known any better, he would have thought that he was about to walk in on some sadistic rape scene. From the doorway, he yelled for Matt to come outside with him for a moment.

"Why? - Haha motherfucker! I just _owned _your ass!"

Mello rolled his eyes, "I have a surprise, pause that damn thing, you tard."

The sounds of people being massacred stopped abruptly, and Matt, wielding a smile, walked out the door with Mello.

"So, what's the surprise? You already got me the game, that's more than enough. You shouldn't have got- Holy _shit!_ That... _can't_ be..." Matt could hardly form words as he gazed upon the beauty of an apple-red Trans-Am, "Is that... My car?"

Mello laughed and shook his head, "Well, it's not your _old _car. But it is _your_ car. I got curious as to why you sighed longingly at every Trans-Am we drove by, but I finally understood after I saw the picture of you and your old car in your wallet. I decided to go find one exactly like it."

Matt couldn't stop himself from embracing Mello. This was the grandest present he had ever received, and it was the most considerate thing Mello had ever done for him. The blonde flinched at first, but he wrapped his arms around Matt as well. Though he never admitted it, he loved the contact. After six months of living with Matt, and the redhead tending to his burns, he had become accustomed to the closeness the two of them shared.

Matt stepped back a few moments later, with an almost apologetic smile, "You really didn't have to do this. I mean, I love it. It's seriously the best present I could ever get, but this is too much. I wouldn't have asked this of you."

Mello shook his head, and looked back at Matt, "I owe you a lot more than this. I can never completely make up for what I've done, and I can never repay you for what you've done for me. I at least want to make sure you're happy."

Matt chuckled softly. He ran his hands through his hair, and he glanced back at Mello with a smile, "Cars and games are terrific and all, but really, just being here with _you _again makes me happy. Thank you, though. You rock, Mels."

Mello felt his cheeks heat up, and he quickly looked away from Matt. Once he felt his face cool down he playfully shoved at Matt and laughed, "Okay, enough with the mushy stuff, Ginger-head. Let's head back inside now. Oh, here's the key. We can go on a little joy ride later."

He tossed the keys to Matt before he turned around to head back to the apartment. Matt followed him back, still grinning from ear to ear.

Once inside, Matt got a mischievous thought. Mello caught a glimpse of Matt's face, and he was curious about the sly smile spreading across his features.

"Okay, what are you up to?" Mello raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips.

"Hey, you wanna get ripped?" Matt asked Mello.

Mello was confused for a moment. Matt _never _worked out, surprisingly, for he was skinny even though he did almost nothing all day. Then he remembered the _other _connotation for "ripped".

"Wait, you still smoke pot? I thought you didn't do drugs anymore? What the fuck, Matt?" Mello was getting livid. He couldn't understand why Matt had lied to him, and it hurt like hell.

"Hey, pot _isn't _a drug. It's completely natural. And If you can manage to acquire a Medical Marijuana card, it's perfectly legal... kind of... Gotta love California!" Matt was shocked that Mello would get so pissy. It wasn't like he was on smack again or anything.

Mello paused for a moment. Matt kind of _did_ have a point. But he wasn't sure he was okay with condoning it. Finally, he decided that Matt could do it if he really wanted to, but Mello didn't want to play any part in it.

"Count me out. The shit makes you stupid, which explains a lot about you," the blonde laughed, and the redhead joined in, loving that Mello was okay with it.

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it, my friend. And it only makes you stupid while you're _high. _Your mind goes back to normal after you eat some food and sleep," Matt chided while he walked quickly to his room. Mello sat himself down on the couch, and turned on the T.V. He was unsuccessful at finding something he deemed good enough to watch, so he just settled on an heavy metal station and just zoned out to the sounds of guttural vocals.

About ten minutes later Matt emerged from his room, reeking of burning cannabis, glass pipe in hand. Mello opened his eyes and immediately rolled them, "Do _not _tell me you're gunna smoke that out here."

Matt giggled foolishly as he plopped himself next to Mello, "No, Blondie. _You're_ gunna smoke it out here. What the hell are you listening to? I'm changing this, if you don't mind"

Mello looked at Matt, dumbfounded, as the redhead browsed through the music channels until he found an alternative rock station, "I told you I wasn't going to try that shit, Matt."

"Oh shit, Mels. If anybody should smoke this shit, _you _should. You need to calm down," Matt chuckled as he handed Mello the pipe.

Mello just looked at it for a moment. He wasn't quite sure why he even took it out of the redhead's hands, but he had to admit, it was a pretty pipe. The glass was smooth, and had swirls of blue and green embedded into it, and it was very resonated, giving a shiny dark undertone to the colors and the clear parts of the glass. He sighed, and then looked at Matt. Matt simply lifted his eyebrows, patiently waiting for Mello to take a hit. Realizing that there was no harm in just _trying _it, he attempted to take a hit. He lit the bowl with Matt's lighter and slowly inhaled. Resisting the urgent need to cough, Mello managed to hold in his breath. After about ten seconds, he exhaled, coughing slightly.

Matt was thrilled. He never knew it would be so easy to convince Mello to get high with him. He gave him a dopey smile, "Take another."

Mello did as Matt requested, and while doing so, he had an idea. After he filled his lungs with smoke, he grabbed the bottom of Matt's chin and turned the redhead to face him.

Matt's hazy thoughts couldn't quite comprehend what the blonde meant to do, until Mello closed his eyes and place his parted lips over Matt's own. Mello exhaled into Matt's mouth, and Matt breathed in the air from the other's lungs. Matt held it in for a few moments, and then let it out, his face still not even a centimeter away from Mello's. So many emotions surged through him, and a longing hidden deep within him surfaced. His heart was racing, and he felt it might burst out of his chest, especially when Mello suddenly closed the gap between their lips.

The last thing Matt ever thought would happen was taking place, and his mind was in a daze of bewilderment.

Mello knew he was risking everything in this moment, but he couldn't have stopped himself if he tried. Maybe it was the pot, but for some reason, the being this close to Matt felt so... _right._ A fragment of comprehension passed through his mind, and he almost pulled his face away from the redhead's until he felt an arm wrap around him, tightening itself to bring Mello closer. He opened his mouth to let a gasp escape, and Matt took advantage of this by sliding his tongue into the opening. Matt's tongued teased Mello's, begging him to join in on the little dance, and Mello complied, lightly sliding his tongue along Matt's.

They barely noticed their bodies shifting, Mello slightly pushing down on Matt until he was lying with his back to the couch. Mello moved himself so his knees were next to both sides of Matt's hips, and he ever-so lightly ground his own hips against Matt's. Matt accidently broke the kiss off when he inhaled sharply, taken off guard by the sensation that ran throughout his body due to the friction Mello caused. He ran his fingers through Mello's hair, and then tried pulling the blonde's mouth back to his, but much to his dismay, Mello pulled back.

The blonde panted as he gazed at Matt's half-lidded eyes, which were now filled with disappointment. The disgruntled look upon Matt's face made Mello let out a breathy chuckle, which caused the redhead's frown to deepen. Mello laughed again as he got off of the couch, pulling Matt up as well. He gripped softly at Matt's shirt and began leading him towards his bedroom door. Matt was puzzled for a moment, until he realized what direction Mello was pulling him. Finally understanding the blonde's intentions, Matt immediately caught Mello's lips with his own, and began, guiding - or rather, _pushing _- Mello, until his back was shoved up against the closed door. Mello had to break the ferocious kiss to turn the door's knob, but Matt hungrily caught the blonde's lips once again as they entered the bedroom.

They were a stumbling mess as they made their way to the bed. When they finally reached their destination, Mello sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Matt down on top of him as he leaned back into the mattress. Their bodies slid themselves until they were both lying completely on the bed, with Matt atop Mello. Both were so caught up in the burning passion welling within themselves due to the entangling of their tongues that they didn't want to part their lips, but it became necessary when they began wanting to feel more of each other's heated skin.

Matt trailed light kisses along Mello's jawline, mixing in little nips and bites every so often, sending shivers of lust throughout Mello's entire being. As Matt continued his teasing, he grasped at the zipper on Mello's vest and tugged it down. After separating the clasp at the bottom, he reached into the opening of the vest and placed his hand on the silky flesh underneath. Mello gasped, the pressure deep within him building to a much higher level from the feeling of Matt caressing and feeling the outlines of his chest and muscles. He leaned forward slightly to finish taking off his vest, and when he lied back down, his half lidded eyes shot wide open from the next sensation he felt.

Matt was trailing more kisses and light bites along his torso, and tauntingly swirling his tongue around the edge of his nipples, skillfully avoiding the pink buds, causing Mello to groan lustily. Just as Mello was becoming impatient, Matt latched on to a hardened nipple, swirled his tongue around it's edges, and nipped at it ever so lightly while he used one hand to play with the other. Mello bucked his hips up, and a throaty moan escaped from his lips when he felt Matt's other hand grasp the ever-hardening bulge as he thrust. Matt gently squeezed the throbbing member that was begging to be released from the constricting tight leather. He removed his mouth and hand from the blonde's chest, and sat up, still groping Mello with his other hand.

Mello leaned forward, grasped at the bottom of Matt's striped sweater, and pulled it over the redhead's shoulders. After discarding the clothing article on the floor, he trailed his hands along the taut muscles of Matt's chest. He was so enthralled by the smoothness, and the sheer beauty of his soon-to-be lover, that he felt overcome with a sense of pure joy. To be this close to Matt was something he had wished for only in the farthest depths of his subconscious, and now that his wish was becoming reality, he was overwhelmed. He wrapped his arms around the torso of the redhead that was kneeling over him, and nudged his face softly against Matt's stomach.

Matt reached up a hand to toy with Mello's blonde locks, and gently pulling them as he felt the sensation of Mello's tongue gliding across the area of skin just above the edge of his jeans. Mello moved his own hands to the buckle of Matt's belt, quickly unclasped it, and then began unbuttoning Matt's pants. Matt began doing the same to Mello, only with one hand nimbly unlacing his leathers while the other still clung to the back of Mello's head. Mello kicked off his pants, leaving himself completely bare, for it was impossible to wear anything underneath his favorite leathers. He then pulled Matt's jeans down, boxers included, around his hips until Matt was had to slide them the rest of the way off for him.

There they sat, completely nude, Matt still kneeling over Mello who was leaning back on his elbows, mouth agape, and eyes taking in the magnificence of his red-trussed love. Their erections stood proudly, finally free of their constricting clothing, and their lust filled eyes were glued to each other. Mello leaned forward to clasp his hands around Matt's neck, and brought him back down upon him as he rested back into the mattress. Their lips met once again, and they kissed with fiery passion, tongues tasting every part of the other's mouth.

Matt's hand trailed down Mello's torso, softly massaging it as he wandered, until it got teasingly close to the origin of the fire within Mello. The blonde's hips bucked as he felt his stiff member being grasped, and his throat emitted a soft moan, which grew into a hoarse groan when Matt began slowly pumping his hand up and down Mello's shaft. Mello bit down on Matt's lower lip, the hot coil deep within him winding more and more as the redhead continued. Mello nearly whimpered in utter disappointment when Matt stopped all of a sudden to reach into his nightstand's drawer. He retrieved a small bottle of what Mello guessed was K-Y, and he poured some of the substance onto his hand. Mello spread his legs, understanding what was to come, and braced himself for the gentle and knowing hand that began to prepare him for the amazing moment that was to come after.

Of course, neither of them were innocents. In their previous lines of work, virginities were not something that could be easily kept. Yet Matt was amazed at how tight Mello was, and he hoped he wouldn't cause the blonde any pain, but Mello was writhing, loving every second of Matt's touch. There was absolutely nothing in this world that could make any amount of pain not worth being there with Matt, and the feeling of him inside.

"Oh... Matt! Ahhh!" Matt had found the spot inside Mello that drove him to the brink of climaxing. He nibbled on Matt's ear and whispered, "Matt... Now... I want it all."

The redhead was all too happy to oblige. After slathering his own stiffened length in lubricant, he positioned himself above Mello, while the blonde's arms and legs wrapped around him, bringing him closer. The sensation of being completely filled came over Mello as Matt guided himself into his flaxen haired beauty. Their movements were sporadic at first, both simply enjoying the feeling of each other being so connected, then they steadied out into a more even rhythm, their moans and sighs keeping time to the beat.

Their lips met, then parted again when they needed to breathe, or let out a groan of pleasure. Matt was skillfully managing to hit Mello's prostate with each thrust he gave, and the blonde was nearing the peak of this ultimate high. When Matt began pumping Mello's hardened member in time to his deep thrusts, Mello was unable to hold it in any longer, and with one last lusty moan, his seed was spilled all over the two lover's chests. Matt followed soon after, filling his love with his own essence.

Matt collapsed next to the blonde, who snuggled up closer to him. They dozed off for about an hour, until they decided to take a shower together to wash off the sticky mess. They then returned to bed, holding each other in their arms with no intention of ever letting go.

...

They both were still wide awake, and Matt knew it was about time he spoke his mind. Though he loved every minute he had spent intertwined with Mello, he couldn't help but feel that all this affection had more behind it than he realized. He grasped Mello's hand, and then finally spoke.

"Hey, Mels?" He half-stuttered.

"Hmm? Yeah, Ginger-Head?" Mello mumbled, one eye peeking at him while the other was covered by a pillow.

"What's this all about?" Matt asked, while Mello simply blinked "The game, the car, and last night. Not that I wasn't totally blissed out by everything, I seriously couldn't possibly be happier right now, but, there's something else you haven't told me, isn't there?"

Mello sat up. He knew that he would have to say something eventually, so he was rather glad that Matt had already somewhat caught on. He just hadn't suspected it to be so quickly.

"I wanted to make up for the things I've done to you... and the things I'm about to do as well..." the blonde said it with a dark undertone, and his word choice had Matt immediately in a worried frenzy.

"'About to do'! You don't mean... You're not going to leave again are you? I swear if you-"

"No! I'm not going to leave you ever again!" Mello cut him off before he even could finish the thought, "It's just... Well..."

The blonde sighed. He guessed it was better to spit it out right then and there, "I want to keep going. I want to keep fighting Kira. I need to find him. I just... have to.." Mello's eyes begged pleadingly at Matt's for understanding.

Matt knew what Mello asked. He wanted Matt to allow him to continue battling Near in this possible suicide mission. Mello was startled when he heard Matt chuckle. He did not in the least bit expect him to laugh at this request.

"Didn't you hear me the first time? I said I would follow you even to my own death," Matt smiled at the blonde. Those crystal blue eyes melted his soul, and he knew that he could never live without those eyes again. As long as he had his Mello, he didn't care what he was doing, "I love you, Mello. Always have, always will."

Mello smiled and pounced onto Matt. Matt was allowing him to complete the one thing he had set out to do from the beginning, and in doing so assured his feelings for the redhead even more.

"I love you too, Ginger."

He hoped that he wasn't leading Matt to his death, but in his heart, he knew if he did lose him, he would make sure to follow him soon very after.

...

**Zoza: **Oh goodness this took forever for my brain to poop out. With school and whatnot, I could only work on this one increment at a time, so it was very slow going. But yay! 'Tis finished!

My darling, Haylee, you inspired me to write this lil tidbit, so thank you for all your encouragement! You are my favorite gamer, and I love you dearly. Sorry I suck so bad at Halo, I know when you play with me you'd rather be playing with my brother XD but I understand... I can be a poor sport at games I epically fail, but there's always Dragon Age! Haha! I adore you. You are the nicotine-addicted gamer to my chocoholic, literally. This little addition is your birthday present that I couldn't afford. Thank you for making me smile 24/7.

As to all of the others that read this and the first part, you make my day shine bright and you make me feel like I'm surrounded by fluffy newborn kittens. This was my first lemony thingy, so if you would kindly take that into consideration before you berate me, it would be much appreciated! Haha, I'm just messing. Say what you will, I promise to not take it too terribly. =) Tank you so much! I love you all!


End file.
